World Wide Phantomhive
by PissyNovilest
Summary: 14 WWE superstars, and counting, land in Phantomhive manor. Thanks to Edge and Christian's time machine. How long will it take Ciel to snap on someone. How long will it take for Kane to kill someone? Will anyone survive?
1. Chapter 1

**This is co-authored. I was helped by NEIWIS.**

**Disclaimer: We own nothing**

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><p>It was a normal day in London. People were enjoying the 18th century as ,much as they could. Until a portal appeared over Phantomhive manor and dropped 14 WWE superstars into various rooms.<p>

"Sebastian.!" called Ciel to his demon butler.

"Hey Edge, it's a hobbit." said Christian to his brother.

"What did you just call me?" asked Ciel.

"It's not a hobbit Christian, it's a British child." said Edge

"You. Are. A. Moron." said Ciel.

"Maybe he's a little child. He can only say one word at a time. Would a song make you feel better?" asked Christian.

"Sebastian!" yelled Ciel.

"Is that your daddy?" asked Edge in a child's voice. He kneeled in front of Ciel.

"Yes young master," said Sebastian walking into the room.

"Young master? Wait, what century are we in?" asked Christian.

"The 18th century." said Ciel.

"Our time machine worked! First the Hardy Boyz and Lita from the future, now the 19th century." said Christian.

"What time period are you from?" asked Ciel.

"The 21st century, where little girls like you don't have servants," said Edge

"Unless your Stephanie," said Christian.

"I'm a boy," said Ciel flatly.

"Then why do you act like a stuck up bitch?" asked Edge.

"Sebastian get these incompetent idiots out of my site," said Ciel.

" We are not idiots. We are the most awesome tag team ever! Just for that, you don't get five second pose," said Christian.

"Sebastian can rip off your head and shove it up your ass," said Ciel.

"Remember when Undertaker threaten to do that," said Christian. Edge nodded.

"It's not a threat." Ciel said looking at them.

"Then that totally reeks of uncoolness," said Edge. Ciel sighed. Edge looked at Christian who pulled out a kazoo. Sebastian took the kazoo and bitch slapped them with it.

Edge put a hand to his cheek and grabbed the kazoo angrily. Christian rubbed his face.

"Ow that hurt," said Christian and looked at Edge.

"These bitches reek of uncoolness." muttered Edge. Sebastian looked at them. Christian took off his sunglasses and put a hand to his cheek. Sebastian smirked.

"HELP ME!" yelled Evan Bourne running into the room. Ciel sighed. Evan jumped on Ciel and hugged him as if his life depended on it. Pluto came running into the room.

"That's disgusting." said Christian

"It's not disgusting. He is a dog." said Ciel

"An ugly one. Would he like our nuts?" asked Christian looking at Edge. Edge shrugged.

"What!" said Ciel. Edge pulled out a bag of nuts. Ciel stared at them.

"Do you have soda?" asked Christian.

"What?" said Ciel.

"Soda rules all." said Edge. Christian gave him a high five.

"Help me!" yelled Evan.

"Get off of me." said Ciel. Evan got off of him and looked at Pluto fearfully

"Sebastian, take Pluto outside." said Ciel.

"Do you have any soda at all?" asked Christian hopefully.

"What's soda?" asked Ciel. Edge and Christian gasped. Edge kneeled in front of Ciel.

"We'll get you soda so you can live, you poor unfortunate soul." said Edge and tapped Ciel's cheek. Christian nodded sadly.

"Idiots." said Ciel. Edge looked at Christian who nodded. Edge stood and backed away. Christian kicked Ceil in his face.

Sebastian grabbed Christian and threw him out the window. Edge looked at Sebastian and tried to punch him. Sebastian dodged it.

Edge tried to punch him again. Sebastian grabbed his hand and broke all bones in it. Edge cried out in pain. Sebastian smirked.

"That… does not… reek of… awesomeness." said Edge in a pain filled voice. Sebastian threw him to the ground. Evan looked at Sebastian and hugged his legs.

"Please don't kill me." cried Evan.

"I won't as long as you don't hurt my young master." said Sebastian.

"Of course not." promised Evan. Sebastian shook him off. Evan stood and smiled at him. Sebastian walked over to Ciel.

"You people do not reek of awesomeness. You're just like the Hardy's." said Edge sitting up.

"The what?" asked Ciel.

"Do you know anything?" asked Edge. Ciel shook his head. Edge stood and glared at the young master and his butler.

Screaming came from downstairs. Edge raised an eyebrow. Ciel pinched the bridge of his nose.

"What's, dude, you have an eye patch. I didn't think you were a pirate." said Edge.

"I am not a pirate." spat Ciel.

"Is it because little girls can't be pirates?" asked Edge.

"I am a boy. I will drop my pants if needed to be." said Ciel.

"That's disgusting." said Edge.

"Then stop calling me a little girl." said Ciel flatly.

"Then be a big boy and fight your own battles. Don't let some maid do it." said Edge. He kneeled in front of Ciel glaring.

"That would be pointless if he is my butler for life." said Ciel. Edge pulled him up and smiled.

"So being a bitch for life is fun?" asked Edge. Ciel frowned. "and next time you or your butler put your hands on my brother, you'll pay." warned Edge. Ciel laughed.

Edge grabbed his neck and started choking him with one hand. The other hand covered Ciel's mouth. Ciel bit Edge's hand.

Edge winced in pain and pulled his hand away from Ceil's mouth. Edge felt a hand on his shoulder. Sebastian smiled creepily at him.

"Let go of the little boy." said a gruff and dark voice. A man appeared next to Edge and grabbed his throat. Edge quickly let go of Ciel. Ciel rubbed his throat.

Undertaker let go of Edge. So did Sebastian .

"You're all bitches. Except you Undertaker." said Edge nervously. Undertaker glared at him.

"Someone get me a gun!" yelled Ciel. Undertaker looked at him. Ciel sighed.

Kelly Kelly skipped into the room. She gasped as she saw Ciel.

"Oh my god! A female pirate!" said Kelly.

"I am a boy and for the last time, I am not a pirate." Ciel said and ripped the eye patch off. Edge took the moment to kick Ciel in his nuts.

Sebastian grabbed Edge by his hair. Edge tried to kick Sebastian in his nuts. Sebastian dodged pulling his hair every time.

"Help me!" yelled Christian running in. He jumped on Sebastian's back. Sebastian threw him off. Christian quickly jumped to his feet.

"I was falling, in a totally awesome fashion, and I landed on Kane. Now he's coming to kill us." said Christian looking at Edge.

"God, there's more idiots coming." said Ciel.

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><p><strong>Review!<strong>


	2. Chapter 2

Thank you for the review.

disclaimer: do not own anything

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><p>Ciel sighed. Edge looked at Christian. Ciel sighed again and stood.<p>

"Let's sacrifice the Reekazoid to Kane." said Christian. Ciel glared at them.

"What happened to your eye?" asked Kelly.

"It's called a contract." said Ciel.

"We have contracts too." said Christian. Edge cleared his throat. "Oh, right." mumbled Christian.

"This is a different type of contract than what you have." said Ciel.

"Soul." said Undertaker.

"Yes. It's a contract for my soul." said Ciel.

"I think Taker found a new best friend." whispered Edge to Christian. Ciel sighed Kelly skipped away.

"Sebastian, go get the tea ready." said Ciel.

"He's like Regal." said Edge.

"What?" asked Ciel.

"William Regal, British, likes hurting people with brass knuckles." said Edge. Ciel looked at him.

"Sebastian's gone to make tea." whispered Christian. Sebastian came back into the room with a tea cart.

"Damn!" whispered Christian. Sebastian brought tea and cakes to Ciel. Edge and Christian started whispering to each other. Ciel looked at them.

Christian nodded and they looked at Ciel. Ciel took a bite of cake. The brothers went back to whispering about how to get revenge.

Sebastian leaned tord Ciel and whispered something to him. Ciel scowled. Undertaker glared at everyone.

"Well, I have to get going." said Ciel. "So take your friends and leave." Undertaker kept glaring.

"Get out." said Ciel. Undertaker blinked.

"Out." said Ciel.

"Why should we Chumpstain?" asked Edge.

"It's my household." said Ciel.

"We have no where to go." said Edge.

"I don't care! Get out!" Ciel yelled.

"You're going to have to throw us out." said Christian. Edge nodded. Undertaker raised and eyebrow.

"Sebastian." said Ciel.

"Idiots." said Undertaker and the lights went out. They came back on and Undertaker was gone. Sebastian threw Edge and Christian out the window. A bald man kicked the door open.

"Where are the blonde idiots?" asked the man.

"Sebastian threw them out the window." said Ciel. The bald man smiled and walked away. Ciel sighed and walked to the door.

"TRISH!" a voice yelled. Ciel walked out into the hall. A woman ran past him chasing another woman. Ciel just stood there.

"Little Jimmy!" yelled a man. Ciel looked in the direction of the voice. "Little Jimmy." a man coming towards Ciel. Ciel raised an eyebrow

"I'm on to your conspiracies ant I'm no longer singing at your birthday," he said.

"What?" said Ciel.

"Don't play stupid," He said

"I'm not playing stupid," Ciel said.

"We're sick and tired of people like you," another man said. Ciel was really confused by now.

" That's the truth," the first said. Ciel looked back and forth between the two men.

"And It's awesome," the second yelled.

"What are you talking about?" Ciel asked. The men walked away glaring.

"Young master ." called Sebastian.

"Damn big buildings." muttered the bald man stalking past them.

"Over her." said Ciel. Sebastian walked over to him. The man passed them again cursing. Ciel walked down a hall, then down a flight of stairs, and walked into the manor's lobby.

A man with a backwards hat and jersey and looked at them.

"Ok, how many fucking people are in my house?" asked Ciel.

"!4, maybe more. Blame Edge and Christian." said the man and pulled out a steel chain.

"Oh god." said Ciel.

"Maybe more." said the man.

"Oh please no." said Ciel. The man nodded.

"Name's John Cena." said the man.

"You seem like the normal one out of all these people." said Ciel. John nodded. Ciel sighed.

"Edge and Christian are scaling your wall." said John.

"Sebastian, get them down." said Ciel.

"Right away." said Sebastian and left. Edge hit Ciel from behind and laughed. Edge knocked John out and looked at Ciel. Sebastian popped up behind Edge.

"Cena, such the good boy. Time for revenge." said Edge not noticing Sebastian.

"Hello." said Sebastian. Edge closed his eyes taking deep breaths. Sebastian smiled evilly. Edge opened his eyes

Sebastian punched him. Edge tried to punch him. Sebastian dodged his punch and punched Edge again. Edge backed up and speared Ciel.

Sebastian stabbed Edge with a fork. Edge looked at him shocked and confused. Sebastian smirked. Edge back up glaring. Sebastian knocking Edge out.

"Edge is down!" a man in a robe said. John sat up and groaned.

"Make it 15." said John.

"He'll be out for a few hours depending on how hard Sebastian hi him," said Ciel.

"Good," said John and he stood.

"I request that thou kiss thy royal ring." said a robed man wearing a crown. He held a hand out towards Ciel. Ciel raised an eyebrow. "I'm king Booka!" yelled the man.

"Never heard of you." said Ciel.

"Tell me he did not just say that." said Booker.

"Too bad, I did." said Ciel.

"I'm Booker T. A five time, five time, five tine, five time, five time WCW champion!" yelled Booker.

"What are you talking about?" asked Ciel.

"Oh hell no. You do not deserve to even look at my greatness." said Booker as he walked away.

"Ok then." said Ciel.

"I ask that you let us stay here." requested John.

"Fine." said Ciel.

"Thank you." said John. Ciel looked around. " I will see you later." said John.

"Whatever." said Ciel. John walked away. No one else appeared.


	3. AN

**A/N: the person i was coauthoring this with has quit on me so if you would like to take her place PM me.**


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